So I need some help and ideas on who to come out to and how...
I have seen some wonderful letter that people have sent to their parents and posted on facebook, but I feel things are a little bit different for me. I have many families I work with on my facebook page. I work with kids with disabilities and in a very conservative world, would rather these families don't know. Also, I am a believer that me being gay is not something the whole world needs to know. The last weird factor is I am the only member of the church in my family. There are days where I think my mom would rather I be gay then Mormon, so telling her would mean a really complex conversation that I don't feel close enough with her to share.
Who have I told? Some of my closest friends, my liberal friends, a few close coworkers, and my lesbian cousin. Who do I still want to know?
• Some of my old and current best friends that I think might judge me? Some are guys that I am really close with and don't want them to think that because I am gay that it means I want their body. Other friends are those from the mission or that know me as an all star Mormon. I am afraid that they only see me as a specific person and if I tell them something other, they will not want to be in my life...Which I know I should not let bother me, but it does.
• One very big category is my Mormon Mom's. These are the people who have "adopted" me and claim I am a part of their family. This is the scariest. I feel so close to these couple women that I really feel they would have no place for me if they knew I wasn't 100% active. I talk to these women less now than in years past, and they do live in California, so I guess they do not need to know. I would just hate for them to find out from someone else.
• I also would like to know how out I should be at work...Enough said
• And then my real mom. I expressed my thoughts of why I am not telling, but when do I tell her and then how. How do I explain why I Mormon, then Gay?
Any thoughts will be appreciated, it is good just to start thinking about it :)
I have a message
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I have a message. My message is to Love. Jesus said love everyone. When I
say that, I mean everyone.
When I add to that to love those who are different, sp...
5 years ago
3 comments:
For each person, ask yourself (1) would it hurt them or help them to know; (2) would it improve your relationship with them; (3) would it hurt or help you if they knew?
Then make your judgment calls person by person accordingly.
I'm not necessarily advocating the facebook route, but you can limit who can read individual notes that you post.
For me personally, I'm finding it easier to just talk about it when the subject naturally comes up. Sometimes this happens with certain conversation topics. We'll be talking about politics and prop 8 comes up, or someone finds Milk in my itunes library. In these cases, I don't necessarily say, "Look at me, I'm gay!" But I can explain my side of the issue (one that is really pro gay).
I'm also slowly starting to be more direct. If you ask me if there is a girlfriend, I will tell you that there will never be another girlfriend. I'm pretty paranoid about how this knowledge will change what people think of me, but I am also starting to realize that I want people to know the real me. I think I'm at a point where I'm ready to deal with the reactions and consequences, whatever they may be.
@Alan - Thanks, I think that is wise...The hard part for me is that I never know...I guess if I don't know it can wait.
@El Genia - Your post helps a lot. this is kind of the direction I am heading, it is good to hear it works for you. I told the girl I dated all through out high school that I will not be getting married (meaning to a girl), and she was very big on avoiding going deeper so I guess I know now is not right to tell her more.
Also, I will look into how to limit who reads your facebook notes. I didn't know you could do that. Very cool way to make that happen. Thanks!!!
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