Thursday, August 20, 2009

My first crush...And I am only 25???

So, this almost seems silly, but one of the best things in my little life happened this week. I really found myself liking someone. Just to ruin the story upfront, this crush does not like me back, and it will not go anywhere, but that is not the point. Here is:

So I would always hear straight couples, and some gay ones talk about "love", "crushes", and "liking someone". On and off over the years I wondered if I might just not have a real sex drive because I had never had that in the same way others had talked about. I would see a guy walk down the street and think wow, he is good looking, or that girl in my English class would make a wonderful mom, but never thought, if I could hold him, or date him, or spend the rest of my life with him, everything would be okay. (Note: I know when people have those feelings they somewhat illusion-ed, but I still want them) Anyway, here I am having a meaningful, open, honest conversation with this guy, and BAM it hit me, like a ton of bricks. I was ready to do anything for him. What happened? We have spent a lot of time together recently. We were talking a lot about love between men, and then he opened up, and like a 6 year old on Christmas day, I was overjoyed to receive the best gift ever from him. He shared with me a loving, kind, gentle side of him, more so than I might have ever felt from anyone. And then his normally good looks got greater, his humor funnier, and his heart softer. I was hooked, for two whole days. Then it was all over, and how that happened is not important, but the fact that I felt that way did happen, and I have so much hope it can happen again. Thanks to this person for being him ;)

2 comments:

Chris said...
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Chris said...
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