Spirituality: Part 1:Relationship with God

So to make a long story short, me choosing to be gay took me away from my spirituality. This series of blogs is my journal of finding out where God and religion fit into my life as I define it for me.

Relationship with God:

Who is God? One thing that I never got about some Christian churches was the whole God and Jesus Christ, one or two people thing. I was an Atheist until I turned 16, but I had been read bible stories by some family members as a kid.  It always seemed logical from the stories and what I knew that they were separate people. Then as religion became more of a topic I would ask and people gave me weird answers, like, you know, "I'm not sure, they are kind of one, but kind of two". I thought, really, you go to church every week and you don't know. When I took the discussions, when I learned about God and Jesus being separate beings and working together it just made perfect sense. So when thinking about my relationship with God, I speak of my Heavenly Father, who I can communicate through because of the Atonement. This is still very real in my life.

How God speaks to me? He speaks to me through peaceful feelings. Also, through long suffering. When I can endure something, I know it is from the top. This like many will say it is hard to explain, but I feel like I almost always know when I am doing what I should be doing, and then the times I am not.

How does God feel about me? I know that he loves me. everything points to it. How any church or Christ following person could say otherwise is beyond me.

What God would tell me? He told me to join the LDS church and with that moment confirmed his existence and love for me as an individual. He told me to go on a mission, than told me it was time to come home early. He has helped with times when I needed to relocate and times when I needed to focus things in my life. With His ability to tell me all these things, it is logical when he told me I am free to be gay in the very same ways, it is from Him. I know that God has general ideas that work for the masses, but I know how much he loves me and has an individualized plan, just for me, to obtain happiness. It may not fit the mold, but how many things do fit the mold in the church or his workings. God is the master behind miracles, and I will not be one to limit Him to what He would or would not tell me. So I listen, and try to follow. And when I stray, I try to correct. That's all I can do, and in the day of judgment, I believe we will open His arms with love towards me, and I hope to rest in comfort knowing I am His son, gay and all.