Some people who know me or read my blog may think I am very negative. Outwardly this may be true, but if you really got to know me, or confronted me with almost any issue honestly, I think most times I would find some silver lining to every less than great thing.
Well, a year ago today, I had to make the choice to take my father off life support and he passed away a couple hours later. We were not always the closest, but I loved him and I know he loved me. How then do you ask how I find the positive in this? Well, when he died, I took the chance to look at life, specifically my life. I learned a lot about my dad during the weeks that followed, but the biggest lesson I learned from his past was that he was the most happiest when he choose his life. He died very much an alcoholic which defined him. Before that addiction was the only thing he had left, he lived the life he wanted.
With this is mind, I figured I could continue to struggle to find love and acceptance from church members, in the same way, my dad turned to a bottle for happiness. My three goals have always been Service, Love, and Relationships. This was the point that I decided I had to choose to be me, to choose happiness, and not to let anything consume me that would take away my goals. Really had it not been for this, I might not have ever come out to anyone.
I still miss my dad, but I am grateful that I was able to create a new life from his and learn from him, the good and the bad.
